If you want them to listen, protect the relationship you have with them.

Start with one fact, not ten accusations.

Pick the clearest concern. A cancelled meeting. A money request. A story that changed. Ask about that first.

Do not attack the person’s intelligence.

Romance scams work because they are designed to feel like real relationships. The FTC says anyone can be targeted. Calling someone gullible usually makes the scammer safer because the victim becomes less likely to tell you what is happening.

Ask permission to look at the timeline together.

Instead of demanding the phone, ask if you can help put the dates, promises, payments, and cancelled plans in order. The goal is to let the pattern become visible.

Stay available even if they disagree with you.

You can say you are worried and still make it clear that you are not leaving. If the person later sees a problem, you want them to call you before sending more money, not hide it because they are afraid of hearing “I told you so.”

Focus on protecting money before solving the whole relationship.

If there is a money request, ask for a short pause. No new payment. No new account access. No gift cards. No crypto. No wire. Use the time to verify what is being claimed.

Bring in the right outside help when needed.

A bank’s fraud department, attorney, law enforcement agency, trusted financial professional, or another appropriate professional may be more useful than another family argument when the issue involves active fraud, large transfers, threats, or account access.

The FTC recommends talking to someone you trust when an online relationship raises concerns. See FTC guidance.